by Jeff Brown (a summary by Pat Evert)
– Apologies to The Divine Feminine (from a warrior in transition)
I apologize for my inability to distinguish relationship from war. Like a warrior in enemy territory, I would sneak in and out of your life in the night, plundering and selfishly taking what I needed, then crawling back to the other side of the abyss with the spoils. I gave little back for fear that I would become vulnerable to attack. I apologize for not seeing you, my eyes blinded by congealed rage and unshed tears. I apologize for a sexuality that was objectifying and disconnected from the heart. I know you longed for real intimacy, a merging of our souls along the heart-genital highway. But there were too many defences around my heart, and no bridge could form between our souls. There were moments when your loving ways freed me from my body masks, but I had no template to stand in that heart-fire. I am sorry for this, for I know that the path you longed for was the path to God. I apologize for my horrifying acts of violence, a reflection of my own congealed rage, my own inability to distinguish real enemies from friends. There are no words that can undo what I have done in those moments of madness. I apologize for my inability to develop a conscious relationship. You were right there with your beautiful heart on your sleeve but I was too attached to my individualism and afraid of this unknown terrain. I saw you as dangerous, for in your presence I began to taste a surrendered way of being. Nonetheless, your faith in my goodness kept me going through many a battle, and restored my faith in life when I most needed it. You were the light at the end of a barbaric tunnel, and I am blessed. I now recognize that there is a meaningful difference between a love-ship and a relationship. Love alone is not enough. I recognize the courage it took for you to keep your heart open in the presence of my resistance. You had every right to seek an authentic relationship. Your very presence invites my Godself out of hiding. I can linger in the heart-space a little longer than I once could, I am softening in places. The road to transformation is dependent on a bridge between genders, a benevolent bridge that celebrates our differences with respect and kindness.
– Apologies to The Sacred Masculine (The letter this warrior-in-transition would like to receive)
With my lens blurred by unhealed emotions, I was unable to see you in your wholeness. I know that below my pain was a heart that genuinely longed to merge with yours. I didn’t always see how much stress you carried, how difficult things were, how hard it was to hold it all together. I am sorry that I expected you to fill my emptiness, when the only one who can fill it is me. After so many centuries of disempowerment, I didn’t realize that I had the tools for my own self-creation. But I am recognizing it now. Where before we met as two fragmented beings, we will soon meet as two whole beings—each of us healthily boundaried, well-integrated and intrinsically complete. Like two different species in the same bed, we were compelled by circumstances to inhabit roles that kept us miles apart. Those roles have caused us great suffering, each gender suffering in its own way. Women were denied the right to basic protections and pathways of expression, men were denied access to a tender, receptive way of being. No one got off easy, despite appearances. We trip, and then we get back up with greater awareness. With this in heart, I am hopeful that we can learn to accept one another in our humanness. But the time has come to construct a new bridge, one that comes into being with each step we take, one that is fortified with benevolent intentions and authentic self-revealing.
– The Awakening Man; A Portrait of Possibility for Humankind
The awakening man is conscious. It is a felt experience, an ever-expanding awareness that moves from the heart outward. It is feeling God, not thinking God. Rooted in the relational, his sense of responsibility extends well beyond his localized self and community. He does not compare himself to others. He does not adapt his personality to the dictates of the crowd. He stands in his own centre, respectful of others but not defined by them. He works diligently to liberate his consciousness from the egoic ties that bind. The awakening man courageously works on his emotional processes. He communicates his feelings in a way that is respectful to others. He learns and speaks the language of the heart. The awakening man is accountable for his actions and their effects. He does not deflect responsibility. He does not sidestep or blame. The awakening man moves from the inside out. More interested in inner expansion than outer achievement, His framework of integrity is never convenient or self-serving. The awakening man prioritizes conscious relationship. He values authentic co-creation. He honours relationship as spiritual practice. He moves from love and compassion. The awakening man endeavours to live in a state of perpetual gratitude. He is grateful for the gift of life. The awakening man is comfortable in his vulnerability. He participates in his own revealing. He is not afraid to surrender—to reality, to love, to truth. This is not a weakened form of surrender, but one that is emblazoned with courage. It takes more courage to surrender than to numb. He openly explores his capacities for receptivity and tenderness. He is empowered but he does not exploit power. He derives his power from his connection to source, not from power over others. The awakening man has reverence for Mother Earth. The awakening man has no claims on God. His spirituality is tolerant, inclusive, respectful. He is noble. He is responsible. He is productive. He is kind-hearted. He is protective. He is unswervingly honourable. He ascends with both feet on the ground. He is really here.