– Health
A sound healthy body. So many (embarrassing bodies) have deformities, physical weaknesses, illnesses, but I have had an almost trouble free body. How little I have physically suffered, the most probably being my teeth and my physical/mental breakdown of 10 years. My life has been easy compared to many. Like mom, my overload limit is small. I now admire those who have chosen especially difficult lives.

– Awakening
Grateful that I am no longer in religion (6th grade). All along the universe, and so many who can see clearly, have known what is best for me, and with gentle, loving kindness led me perfectly, loved me perfectly. That which I most treasured has been touched, to liberate me from my attachment that is most holding me back from awaking. Though I feel like I can take on no more stress, yet others know how much I can take and with understanding lead me in my metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly. So thankful for the ongoing discovery of my divinity. Thankful for the eyes of Christ, rather than those of ego which only see the illusion of separation, scarcity and fear. What does my heart and soul want more than anything else? Is it to awaken? Whatever my true self wants, I will call it to myself and the love of the universe will give it to me. It will deny me nothing. This is very scary to the ego. But nevertheless I am awaking and ego is unraveling, dissolving and returning to Source. It is as sure as the God of love, and only a matter of when.

– Freedom
This is the perfect time to deal with my attachment to my wife. At the age of 64 my sex drive has diminished. Our kids are independent. We are free of religion, work, friends and so many social groups of embarrassment.
The gentleness and patience with which this is being handled by God, Shelley and our guides. This has not been forced upon me, but I have chosen, with a little pressure, to do what is best for all.
Though it is difficult for me, I rejoice in Shelley’s new-found freedom from societal/religious expectations of being subservient to her husband.
I am free of all ego history: fears and judgment, attachments and aversions, and all untrue stories.

– Retirement
I was guided to do that which I feared – to let go of income dependence. We have accumulated enough financially for the rest of our earthly lives. And in any case God will supply all our needs. I have always feared and abhorred homelessness, but I now think I could handle it.

– Family
For my family of siblings. They have been thru much. My brother Mike has been thru two divorces and Kerry one. I am now in separation from Shelley learning a small sample of what they went thru in feeling unwanted or unnecessary.
For our religious relatives who are mirroring to me how I treated others in my religiosity and judgmentalism.
For my family with Shelley. Our kids are so understanding and supportive.
The help that Shelley has so willingly and even joyfully given to live with my mom and give her the best of care. Shelley has been the source of countless blessings in my life, every one of these groups of gratitude are very much due to her. She continues to joyfully serve me, and even enjoy my presence.

– Hobbies
A renewed joy of my youth, the thrill of riding waves. Also a good outlet to get constructive exercise.
My website – to be a reminder to me and an outlet of spiritual edification for others.

– My humanity
I am experiencing a softening to my approach in life and my interaction with others. What a wide range of experiences I have had. I feel like I have lived three or four lives in this one. I am thankful for the experiences of pain and every expression of love I have been privileged with.

– Others’ influence
So many have had such a wonderful influence in my life to make me who I presently am. The selected books on this website are only a part of how so many have shaped and directed my life to have such bounty.

– MySelf
Who am I? – I am love embodied. I am a necessary part of the whole. I am a fractal, complete in myself, I need no one and no thing. I am unlimited acceptance. I am learning full acceptance of myself and others. I am (we are) the heart of God, feeling with and for him. I am the ocean, I am Spirit.
I am a perfect creation, giving pleasure to my Creator. All my imperfections are perfect. My worth is beyond concept. My disguise is so convincing, I have fooled even myself.
I am NOT a victim. I have called all this to myself. Ego is no threat to me, but rather my servant.

– My History
I am grateful for the stages of this life:

Military kid
Agnostic adolescent
Surfer, smoked marijuana
Fanatic Christian
Happy Husband and father of children/grandchildren
Weak and sickly for years with a nervous breakdown
To have gay children and being ostracized
Being on the top as middle class white male
Being on the bottom with the despised gays and infidels
Judgmental, exclusive Christian
Inclusive awakened soul
Retired senior

I have had a wonderful adult life. I got to enjoy a fulfilling marriage, see our three adult children move out, marry, buy homes, start successful careers. Then to top it off to awaken to a reality that is exceeding abundantly above my wildest thoughts. I am nothing less than God manifest in the flesh and am now offered the possibility of living my life consciously aware of such, to refuse to believe the stories of my ego and all its expectations, and to live a higher life of equanimity.

Thankful for:

  1. 36 years of oppression of societal/religious norms, and my needy codependence
  2. Giving me this hiatus of solitude, it is truly a gift, a 2nd chance, and
  3. Such support in this, you have been my best motivator helping with respect –  letting me shine, reflecting back to me just how capable and talented you think I am
  4. The pain is bringing me to experience more freedom and contentment, the ability to free Shelley, finding her freedom is also mine, the choice to be together or not
  5. To learn to love myself and retain my power, freedom from the expectations of another
  6. The opportunity to express who I truly am in freedom and love
  7. I lack one apple out of a billion, I won’t let one thing keep me from enjoying all the other blessing of life.