Falling Open, October 2020, by Amoda Maa.
1) In a world falling apart. Openness meets challenges without resistance. Relax ego self. Meet your experience from your true nature, not your manufactured identity. Letting go of resistance. To have no judgment of wrongness. This transition is usually very gradual, like the erosion of a cliff at the beach. How do I respond to this pain? Embrace it? Give it little importance? Unconditional acceptance. What am I afraid of? This is an opportunity to surrender. Is this the same awareness as … earlier? Or has awareness changed? Write out your insight. Awareness is more or less convinced of the claim. 
2) Welcoming everything to come home – You are consciousness. The world is formed by consciousness. Everything yearns to return to Source, through death. Everything is love. Because of unconsciousness, not all move from love. Everything is inviting me to see love in it. In tenderness the separation between you and I dissolves. You can welcome your worst demons. Love is greater than anything else, yet tender. It is not threatened. Turn toward this willingness. Whenever the fight arises in me, stop. Surrender. Recognize love. Smile at whatever arises. Awareness is the unchanging, unconditional acceptance of the sky. When you ripen to softness. You pass from contraction to relaxation. Surrender is to the true self. Not to uphold an identity. We are coming home to love. Welcome everything with a smile. 
3) Ending the war within – ending the argument with ego, open to that. This one is not an enemy. I love myself and her. Feeling broken… confused. Be sensitive to your self positioning. Feel it, don’t separate from them. Allow brokenness without a ‘poor me.’ You’ll soften. Bargaining will not lead to intimacy or liberation. Cease loving to be loved. Give up your strategies of war. Put down all weapons to defend myself. Meet it without interpretation. Source knows what’s best for me and the whole. This difficult gift will open me up. Playing a role and identifying as such and such are two different things. 
What gives meaning/value to my life? What would happen if I met this situation without any interpretation?
4) The intelligence of love – The intelligence of the universe is bringing us back to our true nature. It moves in us to take care of the whole humanity. It’s covered over by the narrative of the mind, identity. Meet the other undefended. Love is deep acceptance. Listen with openness. No bias of personal desire. When we awaken, all our relationships need to be renegotiated. What needs to be moved or changed the intelligence of love will do this. I need not understand it. A problem or discomfort, write down your thoughts about it. Withhold your allegiance to the narrative. Sit with not knowing, undefended. 
5) Discovering your true authority – it does not come from ego or willfulness. It’s the inner voice of your wild heart apart from division. It frees us from the dream, the matrix. Before you were molded into conformity. Don’t take your identity from what life brings you. The relationship in the form it existed, no longer is. Accept this with contentment. Love continues. Broken open, but not broken down. What do I give my authority to? Allegiance? What takes me away from my truth? My wildness?
6) The Art of being fully awake and fully human – open awareness is not focused upon anything. True nature is beyond what the mind thinks of us. Mind needs to take a back seat to our awareness as the ego self erodes away. How to function in the world without being swept away by it. Without interpretation. I am not a needy, fearful victim, but I am love embodied. True nature vs. awareness. True nature is unchanging, experiences pass thru you. A powerful emotion pulls you into self righteousness. Stop and feel it, instead of reacting. Let ego die. Trying to save someone or awaken them is the denial of the divine in them, even arrogance

Enlightened Relationships, June 2020, by Amoda Maa

1) This is an exploration of what love is, our true nature. Our usual idea of love is romantic, conditional and unconscious, but this is not love. Ego seeks fulfillment from another, I.e. sex/affection. Love is not a commodity. Love is completeness, satisfaction. And it is only found within. The idea that there is someone special who will fulfill me is a romantic myth. Need, want and hope is conditional, which is not love. To stay in misery hoping for a fulfilling relationship is false hope. Stop looking without and stop loving another to be loved. Look within. The self I feel needs protecting, ego, is just an imagination, an image. In surrender everything softens. 
As spiritual maturity increases specialness of relationship decreases. True love is meeting without need or expectations from the other. No need to possess to fulfill yourself. In marriage we seek security and fulfillment, but it is a myth. It cannot be found in this world. All that can be gained can be lost. What I seek, I am. The fear is, I am not complete. I am alone is both a truth for ego and a myth for the true self. Am I willing to meet and explore aloneness? To live a relationship without a label? The ego is needy for love and attraction driven. But this is not love. Avoid any expectation of where it might lead. 
Physical intimacy falls short because there’s a deeper spiritual longing for the remembrance of wholeness. Discovering love, which is contentment, is to be conscious. It is regardless of feelings. It is openness. It is tenderness. It is fearless. It is the soul
Romantic love, on the other hand, really isn’t love. It is conditional, unconscious and out of need. It seeks its identity and fulfillment from others, which none can satisfy. It engenders fear and discontent. It is ego’s best imitation. 

2) Relationship is potent medicine to returning to the wholeness of love, our true nature. Falling in love with yourself in aloneness. The vulnerable areas of the heart will arise where we will be provoked to go to war. Here we learn to create peace, that we don’t need to protect or fight. A trigger is an invitation to open now. The one who most triggers me is my best friend. Unconditionally accept what is. Don’t avoid feeling this emotion. Feel it consciously. Stay soft in this feeling. I am greater than this pain. I am not a victim. Relax. Don’t close the door, don’t shut them out. You are coming back home to wholeness.
Sex and love, how do we bring them together? Slow down, be present, be tender, not just seeking my gratification. Look at each other, breathe together. The friendship is primal. I am bigger than this urge. She and I must both stay true to ourselves. Don’t betray yourself. Intimacy, each of you speak the truth with the other. Be naked with each other, without sex. Shutting down is judgment, rather than openness and presence. Judgment highjacks presence. Presence welcomes all discomfort. 

3) Meeting in openness. Willing to listen to the truth without protecting or blaming. One consciousness, not two battling. Feeling rejection without reacting. Allied with truth rather than a role. Staying present and willing in disagreement or disappointment. Love is not lost, even in the loss of relationship. Empty of conditions. One beingness. It’s impossible. It’s now becoming possible. These qualities are inherent within us. You cannot make another open. The highest purpose is more than me getting my way. It is love. 

4) Coming home to yourself. The purpose of relationship is to bring us home to ourselves, the openness of love. Cease controlling or trying to get something from the other. Truly listen in openness. Don’t be dependent upon the love of the other. Unconsciousness wants to possess or control. To make an enemy is insane, there is only one being here. Different preferences or viewpoints are still possible, even to be expected. Triggers and challenges are bringing us home. Listen in honest openness. This is a purification of the myths we bring into relationship, the release of romance to make you feel complete. Love without illusion. To meet without war we can then be an instrument of harmony to the world. This is being accomplished with/in us, in spite of us. It’s without victim hood or subservience. There is much pain involved. It happens as we go thru the Valley of death. A special relationship keeps us trapped in the romantic myth. This is a love beyond hormones. Hormones can hyjack true love. It’s letting down our defenses, being vulnerable with that one closest to you. Trust the true self in the other. Trust what love is doing in you both. It’s going to take everything you’ve got. We’ve all been wounded. Have the courage to feeling anything. Seeking unbiased truth. To have one who is willing to go down into more and more pain with you in the discoveries of our deep shadows is an incomparable treasure. Don’t take them for granted. You are going to disassemble each other for a recreation of an incomparable new you. 

Radical Compassion Challenge, January 2020, by Tara Brach

RAIN – Recognize the pain, allow it to be, investigate gently and nurture yourself with love.
When we are stressed we disconnect from our heart and get swept away with the mind. Take a pause to restore Presence, three deep breaths. Release self judgment and blame. See and love yourself. Who would I be if I didn’t think something was wrong with me?
We live in a world where everyone belongs. Everyone is having a hard time.
You and the other person are reacting to an unmet need in your lives. See the pain they are going through as well as yours and give nurture.
Open hearted appreciation. Seeing others does more than serving them. It transforms them. Reflect on their goodness. Let them know.

Kristin NeffMindfulness is accepting what is. Compassion wants to do whatever it can to help. We need balance of the two.

Dacher Keltner – Competition, superior/inferior hierarchy blocks our natural state of compassion.

Valerie Kaur – Tend your own wounds first. Then see the humanity and divinity in the other, wonder at them.

Experiencing your desired future, Joe Dispenza 11/18

1) Where your attention goes energy flows. When we give our attention to a known person, place or thing like taking a bath, our body follows the mind and the bath becomes a reality. We can also give our attention to an unknown, in meditation, and reclaim some of the energy/power we have been giving away to others. What areas are you stagnating in or losing your energy to emotions? Disinvest your energy by meditation, a redirecting of your attention. This energy will then come to you to create a new future.

2) The biggest reason people stop being creators of their lifeTake your attention off your problem. A threat in life puts me in survival mode and extends my energy. I then become addicted to the rush of adrenaline so as to feel something. Addicted to a life I don’t even like. You cannot live in emergency mode forever. Take your attention off someone, you go from a somebody to a nobody. You fall into the unified field of the universe, beyond your body. The heart begins to function, we feel connected to something greater. You start to trust the unknown. Our dream begins to come to us. We feel love like never before. You begin to feel whole, that you already have everything you want, connected to the whole. Meditate.

3) Using meditation to create a new reality for yourself – The less sensory input of the outside causes us to concentrate more on our inner world. Our senses are what connect us to the outer world. Stillness and quiet connects us to the unified field, going inward. Placing your attention, surrendering to it and you’ll experience more of this energy. Someone -> no one -> everyone. We move closer to that unified field of manifestation of miracles.

4) How to get beyond yourself to create your own destinyintention is how you get to change your experiences. The heart will follow with emotions. But if you’re in survival mode it’s not a time to create. You must start from the present moment. By changing your thoughts and emotions you change your energy and thus your life.

Self-Compassion, Kristin Neff and Chris Germer, 11/18


1) Why self compassion is important – so that we can have more compassion for others. It is the root of all compassion. Give yourself permission to feel these difficult emotions. It will motivate you much more than self criticism and more able to try again after failure. I love you unconditionally, how can I help you succeed? I don’t treat others as poorly as I do myself. It takes practice. Ask yourself, what do I need right now? Recognize your common humanity, everyone is going through this. Be courageous and present in this challenge. In a nutshell, self-compassion is treating ourselves with the same kindness, care, and understanding that we would offer to others when they suffer, fail, or feel inadequate.

    – Admit, I am struggling right now. 
    Give yourself a hug. Get out of your mind and into your heart. 
    – Transform suffering into love. 

2) You are worthy of self compassion. I practice loving kindness meditation – may we be safe, may we be happy. Hold yourself in the midst of shame. Be with your imperfect self. Get out of your head, self criticism, and get into your heart with self kindness. Self love is the most difficult, but the most important. I can be my own therapist with compassion. You are worthy by your common humanity, like everyone else. You are a courageous light worker. 

3) How self compassion changes everything. I see myself as the problem and therefore try to fix myself. My compassionate self is usually a reserved, quiet part of me. To move from survival to opening in love. My reactivity is still with me, but I can own it and love it. I remain a compassionate mess. Can I hold all of me in a compassionate embrace? Self compassion increases your perseverance and motivation. I need to feel safe. Maybe I need to shut down for a little while? Treat myself to something? Allow yourself to feel the pain of your personal shame. Your weaknesses are in some circumstances strengths. Compassion = to suffer with. Compassion for others without self-compassion will only bring burnout. 

Self Compassion – Step by Step

1) What is self compassion? This makes more room in your heart to give love to others. Three components to self compassion:

1)Being kind to yourself, soothe and comfort. Give yourself permission to show kindness toward yourself, not just others. Hug yourself or pet yourself or hand to heart, warm touch. In self criticism we are the attacker and the attacked.
2)Shared humanity, everyone is going thru this, we signed up for this. This is a moment of suffering – suffering is part of life, the human experience – may I be kind to myself in this. Suffering connects me with others.
3)Mindfulness, be with your experience as it is, full acceptance of it. To avoid or resist it you cannot show yourself compassion. Meditation helps us get out of anxiety or shut down.

Self criticism is harsh, tight, stressful. To cease is a relief. Self kindness provides safety and contentment. My Self is never in danger, only my self-concept is threatened. Soothing touch – put your hands over your heart. It’s a self hug.
Our culture discourages self compassion as a sign of weakness. Or indulging in self pity. Self pity is an ego centric exaggerated drama. Compassion is concerned with the alleviation of suffering, not indulgence, helpful rather than hurtful. As if we need harsh criticism to motivate us. But in reality compassion is much more motivating than criticism, feeling safe unconditionally is more motivating.
The benefits of self compassion are emotional resilience, less anxious or perfectionism, more comfortable with our bodies, less afraid of failure, more self confident. They don’t beat themselves up when goals are no reached. They pick themselves up are persist.
The self compassion break. Think of an upsetting event. Breathe, relax.

2) Self kindness. The heart is able to bear more pain than we can imagine. We have an inner strength we know little about. Open your heart and turn to the pain. Welcome my imperfections and suffering. Open to your vulnerability. Can I comfort myself?

What would I like to change about me? Needing comfort, attention or affection from another. Why do I criticize myself for this? How is my inner critic trying to protect me? Motivate me by loving kindness rather than criticism. Am I coming from a place of fear or love?

The lovingkindness meditation – think of someone who makes you smile.

May you be safe… peaceful … healthy … live with ease.
May you and I be safe… peaceful … healthy … live with ease.
May I be safe… peaceful … healthy … live with ease.

3) Mindful self compassion. Be aware of our pain and turn toward it with openness. The mind by default looks for problems (mind wandering), that of the past and future. Mindfulness is a direct awareness of what is happening, not thoughts ie. The difference of eating an apple and thinking about eating one. Mindfulness doesn’t judge what is happening, it just accepts it. To try to get rid of the thought or emotional pain only makes it worse – suffering. Turn toward your painful experience without resisting it. We can only soothe and comfort ourselves if we are open and vulnerable to the pain. Don’t concern yourself with the pain going away. Accept it.

Stage one – Enfatuation or striving of self compassion. It’s like falling in love.
Stage two – dissolutionment. Self compassion cannot make all the pain go away. Imperfections and pain remains.
Stage three – accept it.
The compassionate body scan –

4) Interconnectedness. It feels good to be connected, why do we so often feel disconnected with others? Self esteem, how do we value ourselves? Self compassion is not an evaluation of my worth, but rather a compassion on us with our imperfections and suffering.

Self Esteem
Worth from being special, requires merit.
By comparison and competition.
Contingent upon success or appearances.
Promotes bullying and narcissism

Self Compassion
Worth from being human deserving kindness.
By compassion and connection.
Innate well being
Promotes compassionate humanity

It’s impossible for all of us to be special and above average. Are we always comparing ourselves with one another? Do we put others down to make us feel better? To maintain high self esteem is very destructive in relationships.

Where am I above average?
Where am I average?
Where am I below average?

It’s our imperfections and suffering that makes our lives adventurous and heroic. We are deserving of self compassion (inclusive-due to our humanity), not worthy of esteem (exclusive-due to achievement). One unites us and the other divides us.

5) Working with difficult emotions. A stressful situation, its accompanying emotions, tell yourself I feel safe, I am peaceful, may I be kind to myself, may I accept myself as I am, accept my life as it is. May I be patient, kind, gentle, strong, courageous… in the presence of a strong emotion like anger, fear or loneliness use the following four steps:

Labeling – name the emotion or where you feel it in the body.
Feel them – find them in your body and feel them.
Soften – relax into the emotion. Soothe yourself maybe even with a caress. Kind words.
Accept it – Allow the discomfort. Can you welcome it as a guest.

Anger, can harden into bitterness or resentment. It is like drinking poison expecting the other to die.

Think of a relationship or event that hurt you. Why are you angry about it? Am I feeling scared or diminished or unloved? Label, feel, soften and accept the emotion. A big part of healing is forgiving, which needs to be felt first. May I begin to forgive you for what you have done wittingly or unwittingly to hurt me.
It’s also important to forgive ourselves.

6) Embracing your life. A light being comes to visit you with a Word in season. This is my compassionate friend. A special material gift is left and it is time for them to say good bye. What feelings stay with you? I can come back to visit this one again when desired.

We fixate on criticism rather than praise. Appreciate your good qualities of loving kindness. Don’t take yourself for granted. Notice your strengths in gratitude. I am meant to shine also. Think of 2-3 things I like about myself. Who would you like to thank for helping develop these qualities in you?

The pleasure walk – focus on beauty. Positive emotions open the heart and broaden our attention, notice opportunities. In difficult times we learn how much stronger we are than we thought. Self compassion allows us to celebrate all our being, strengths and weaknesses.

Open heart meditation.

Awakening from within, Wendy Kennedy, 11/17

  1. Get grounded, breathe, relax and smile.
  2. Be present, love yourself and check in. Know your identity and your present frequency.

Presence is curious, it’s adventure, but not attachment (past) nor expectation (future). Explore, play. Practice heart-centered listening. Many times our guides communicate with us in sleep because that is when we are most relaxed. Trust what you get.

Every relationship without is reflecting my relations within. Tell myself regularly, ‘I love you.’ Nurture that inner child so it feels supported. In relationships you need to be in resonance. Practice internally first.

Conversations with the Ps

We need to feel safe. If you are feeling fear, imagine what it would feel like to be safe. Love is disarming, it offends no one. You create 100% of your reality. Created at the soul level. Ego will not like it. Learn to be creative in puzzles, drawings or writing.

This is an opportunity to express more love, for better balance. Am I in balance, if not reset your feelings. Breathe and choose the emotion you need. Acknowledge and nurture yourself. Keep recalibrating. Maybe our romantic avenue is closed now, open up other avenues for the romantic avenue to heal and open. Focus on the frequency you want to experience/express. Do I feel safe to express my truth? Breathe, recenter, ground. Maintain boundaries. Think of something that makes you smile, what is going on in your body? If bored think outside the box. Try something different.

Honor yourself, express your need. Make internal adjustments before presenting the need to the other. Don’t go into defensive mode. Heart centered, listen rather than thinking of presenting your side. Humans have emotional components, a range of emotion unique to them. Earth is the planet of emotion. We are headed to be ambassadors of the universe, because of the levels of compassion we are experiencing. We can embody it. The sun and our whole solar system is raising in frequency. I am taking back my power and it will be more difficult to manipulate me.

Clarity of Purpose

Life purpose is not so much what we do, but the state of being in which we do it all. I am on my path, the soul secures this, and ego is not so sure. In the moment you can ask and listen to your heart to get answers in the moment to what serves you best. Trust what you get. You need be sensitive to feminine energy. What does it feel like? Get guidance (feminine) from this connection and then take action (masculine) in ways that honor you. It takes practice to develop this sensitivity. How is it serving you? Does it serve you? Maintain healthy boundaries to honor yourself and your time. You can always change your direction, just make a decision and get started. Be kind to yourself.

Reigniting your Passion

Passion is source energy, unlimited. Two reasons for lack of passion:
Not taking the time to connect with your higher self. Surrender is to go downstream with the natural flow, no longer resisting. If you aren’t resisting the natural flow, what would you do with all that energy?
A belief that doesn’t allow this passion. You can have a passion for life. Let creativity flow, connect with source energy. Notice subtle frequencies. Get curious, question and explore. Question everything. Let intentions guide you, without expectations.
When passion is flowing there are many things you could do to fill that passion. Do something creative daily. Test the waters. You’ll be in your heart space, don’t go out of it by judging.

Let go of limiting beliefs and the passion for sex will return. Release the limiting thoughts you have about yourself. Orgasm is pure source energy. Release judgment about your partner. The dynamics of the relationship will change. The person does not need to change. What limits you might not be logical.

Connecting with your inner child, your subconscious – What would you like me to know or do to express our passion? What would you like to do? Just try, just start.


The light codes bypass your brain to go into the subconscious.
Nurture yourself. Avoid negative thoughts and focus on the positive, kind thoughts. You are perfect as is. Higher frequency manifests more quickly (more often and more emotion). Think of the positive counterpart of the negative emotion you are experiencing. Focus on the frequency, not the form (without expectations and attachments).

Sleep – Put yourself in your heart center by smiling. Think of an image that makes you smile. When you are in your heart center, present, you have no fear. If you are in the past or future you will have a measure of fear. Reset by smiling. The more resetting you do the less sleep you will need. When you wake, pay attention to the emotions you have upon awaking.

Water – Charge it with words written on the container.
Breath – Circular breathing, continuous without pauses.
Exercise – a stroll is sufficient, hard exercise is probably not necessary.
Creative play – Be creative for 10 minutes a day without expectation. Explore.
Divine masculine and feminine energy – feminine is receiving info. and emotion, masculine is doing what you want.
Grounding – connect with earth. Plug into her heart beat.


Going to fifth dimension from 3D to 5D, Naya – Yvonne Ballard, 4/18


We are ascending and descending all the time, increasing and lowering our vibration. The individual or the corporate Gaia will ascend gradually, like growing up from teenhood to adulthood, where we will eventually never go back to 3D. Fear is the main vibration of 3D and judgment is the main one for 4D. 5D is instant manifestation, unity consciousness and unconditional love. To get there you must get beyond fear and judgment. To get to 5D you need to stop eating. You progress up the levels by saying daily, I am going to be happier today than yesterday. The greatest thing is to be happy. As we raise in vibration 3D -> 4D -> 5D, we will lose certain relationships with others who do not raise with us or they will raise with us. You can visualize them as raising to help them. From 3rd to 4th you will lose fear, from 4th to 5th you will lose judgment and need. You will be losing these things and every day more happiness. Sex is very different. The woman will experience more mental than the man. You will be adding more senses, known as the 6th sense. It will be a lot more fun. There is no boredom on the other side, we are Creator God. 

Thebad guysare Creator Gods also

Jack Nicholson has played many roles as a monster bad guy. You are not mad at him because you understand that he was just acting. No one was ever killed or harmed. All the ‘victims’ wanted the experience they got. They are like extreme sports nuts. The good guys/bad guys only exist for the play. It makes for great drama. No one is ever tortured against their will. Everything we view as bad was agreed upon by both sides beforehand. It is easy to see the good guy as a Creator God, but the bad guy is also a Creator God, but only in a more convincing costume. Don’t be reactive or judgmental. See the bigger picture. Admire the game they are playing. Hitler opened a door for Gaia to go to 5D. Few want to play the ‘bad guy’ role, it is very painful and takes great courage. In this dualistic drama you must have bad guys in order to have good guys. There is no such thing as death, no such thing as judgment against anyone. This is a low vibration dualistic game. We are Creator Gods and we have made this game for our entertainment. Earth is not the only 3D planet, but it is unique in the human range of emotions. Time and space, amnesia/disguise, good/bad contrast drama – all are the play for our experience. Everyone is a Creator God playing a role (like Jack Nicholson).


I am NOT here to learn lessons. I’m not going to bring some special knowledge back to source. I am merely experiencing things. We have experiences to enjoy. As God we already have all knowledge. Enlightenment implies superiority, I have learned something you have not (unenlightened).  You’re not going to get any enlightenment from listening to me. 

Law of attraction

The law of attraction is simply communication between everything in the universe. This communication is by vibration, communicating what each entity wants. Nothing is ‘bad.’ For example the most difficult things in your life turn out to be the most benfeficially influential. Being happy is being nonreactive, avoiding emotional involvement. This communicates positive vibes to the rest of the universe. You are a Creator God. What you focus on you are feeding, I.e. watching the news, watch it with a non-reactive attitude, ‘isn’t that interesting.’ Feelings are important, don’t ignore them. We are in a time of polarization, everyone is choosing what dimension is their destiny dimension (3D-5D). Help Gaia by being happy, not sad, fearful or angry. 


There is a different vibration between I need … and I visualize having that. The universe responds differently to these. Learning to read vibrations. It is easier to read vibration in plants, animals and children due to less masking and deception. Emotions in animals is a communication system.  In humans it is a guidance and memory system due to our amnesia. 

Don’t go over the tramas in your thought life. It is unhelpful. Play more and laugh more. Like little children, have fun. Get around children and play with them. Smile more, compliment others. What would it feel like to meet my first fairy or alien? You need to know yourself as Creator God and then all things are possible. You must believe in yourself. You want to listen to instinct, not ego. In trying to interprete dreams ask your intuition, not others. Rarely if ever do you need advise from others. Time is an illusion. This whole physical world is a game, an experiment. The past and future are just perspectives. If we knew how we could visit any of them.