10-week process, Consciously Connected Breathing 15 minutes twice daily, by Michael Brown (a summary by Pat Evert)
This is about what is happening in my life and integrating it. To cease manipulation and to gradually enter into the present moment. Present moment awareness (PMA) is wholeness in connecting with Presence. Gratitude is one of the best indicators that we are experiencing PMA, regardless of whether the emotions are desirable or not. It’s unintegrated past trauma that keeps us from this experience. Consciously connected breathing (CCB) is the means of entering present moment awareness (PMA). By such we can be at perfect peace with whatever happens in our lives. This is a continued lifestyle, not a one-time fix. This is a way to emotionally grow up, to resolve emotional blockages, to integrate suppressed emotional impacts.
By living in a mental past or future we miss the moment we are actually experiencing. We prefer noise and movement to peace and stillness. The present moment is the vibration of life. It cannot be entered unconsciously or by mental understanding. It is to be free of living in time, running from yesterday after tomorrow. We are not our mental thoughts, but conscious presence. This is by first-hand experience only. Mental clarity and emotional stability come from PMA, not the other way around. Don’t judge how you feel, just get authentic in what you feel. This is about releasing our attachment to a manufactured identity and unveils who we really are, moving from pretense to Presence. Be okay with sitting with your emotional charge. We are bringing awareness to our intentions. We recognize there is nothing broken or wrong with us. It is a personal experience of what we already are. Our intent is not to feel good, but to get good at feeling. Fear, anger and grief – we do not want to cover them up, but to discover them. We want to activate present moment awareness. This leads us out of drama and into Presence.
Emotional discomfort comes from unintegrated emotions from our first seven years of life. The emotional imprinting of these years will greatly influence the balance of our lives. Move beyond favoring one emotion over another, all emotions are valid. We need to learn to listen to our emotional being. We then commence a movement inward toward vibrational awareness, emotional integrity. Emotionally charged resistance (blockage) creates drama. Sedation or control should be avoided, acceptance is what is needed. Addictions and afflictions cover up the cause rather than integrating it. Inclusivity rather than exclusivity is preferred. Get out of your thinking mind and go inward, into your emotional body. We can only integrate emotional charges by feeling them. Pretense dissolves as Presence awakens. By moving thru this process there will be many an uncomfortable feeling – this is to be expected. It’s about authenticity, not happiness. We become Presence warriors.
This is not recovery, but discovery. We are not trying to get rid of anything. We are establishing a relationship with Presence. Don’t obsess with how long it takes to integrate. We always receive exactly what we require for our evolution. If something is happening to us, it is required. We won’t feel better. Avoid seeking results or having expectations. Don’t quit. We are entering our inner storm consciously. Use the mirror to see your blemishes, not to remove them. Ego will not give up, neither can I. Go on to authenticity, don’t go back to the familiar.
- CCB 15 minutes twice daily. We gather and accumulate PMA. There is no expected experience, every experience is valid.
- The conscious responses are to be repeated throughout the day.
- The weekly reading texts are to deepen our awareness.
Gentle persistence is required. As a result our thought life will change as well as a shift in our feelings. Don’t hurry, this is about process, not accomplishing anything. Take a 3 week break between each round of 10-week sessions. This is about participation, not perfection. We will begin to trust conscious insight instead of having to understand it with our mind.
Week 1, This moment matters
Adopt a posture that promotes alertness and non-distractive. Repeat, “I (inhale) am (exhale) here (inhale) now (exhale) in (inhale) this (exhale)”. Use a timer.
Am I living for the approval of others? Or am I able to do what I want without guilt? Our personal will is being strengthened. We begin learning appropriate behavior by pleasing our parents and peers. But we later need to transfer our motives by what we know as truth for ourselves rather than the approval of others. Learn to do things for myself only. Developing will power is a step toward authenticity, Presence and our unique expression. Being authentic is being me, not what others want me to be. Making authentic choices is doing what I want, not trying to please another. Presence, my higher self, is the omniscient observer and wants our best. It is our shared connection with all life. We learn our claimed identity is a manufactured and false representation. We begin to experience Presence, out of true identity. Presence awareness is everything, and this practice will bring more Presence awareness into all our daily activity. Our mental body sees no value in this whatsoever and will do anything to distract you. PMA is how we grow in this relationship with Presence. PMA accumulates over time and we become more present.
Week 2, I recognize my reflections and projections
Reactive behavior is a victim mentality. It is to think that all these things are happening to me and not seeing that I am it’s cause. With time we will change from reacting to responding. As I go through this week I will find myself in the middle of unintegrated emotional charges. I need recognize them, nothing more. Presence will do the rest. We erroneously view everything through our reflective past and project it onto our future. Our suppressed emotional charges from childhood are effecting us. Reflections are suppressed emotional memories. Projections are reactive behaviors. Current events in our life will set us up due to our past experiences. It is an emotional upset that we feel. We will not understand it mentally. Presence sets us up with these reflections, which are only messengers, so as to integrate them. They are here to liberate us, not to humiliate us. We are developing self perception and learning to choose our response. Feel them without judging or trying to rid yourself of them. Don’t try to feel better, just get better at feeling them without reacting to the messenger. Watch your experience as a theatrical play. Don’t unconsciously blame and attack another. Consciously recognize and release these messengers. But don’t identify with the emotions, that’s NOT you. Learn to laugh at yourself.
Week 3, I choose to respond
Observe your life as watching a play, without getting involved. Receive the intended message and take your attention off the messenger. They are only a mailman delivering the mail or a mirror reflecting what is. Detach from the mental event, the story. Experience and feel the direct felt perception. It is best to not describe the story, only feel it. Mental thought will only worsen your emotional reaction. See if you can filter out the core emotional reaction you feel from the actual event. To get the message ask yourself these questions:
- How does this trigger me?
- When did I last feel this?
This will help get the insight and take a step away from being a victim. We then will be less reactionary. What was unconscious becomes conscious. Now we can choose to respond as we would desire. These emotional triggered experiences have nothing to do with our adult experience. But this is an opportunity to see and integrate the emotional charge. With practice we will be able to notice the trigger before we react.
Week 4, I feel unconditionally
Fear causes us to resist our undesirable feelings. Pain and discomfort are not our enemies to be avoided or removed. Listen to them and learn. They are here because they are required. They are our friends come to assist us. They have a valuable contribution for us. Our resistance to them could be the real problem. Don’t run to another for comfort. Instead go within to sit with Presence, to sit with the discomfort and gaze into it as deeply as you can. Give them your conscious attention. Choose to be with the pain. Allow these suppressed emotions to come out and be felt. Invite them in for tea. These feelings must be felt in order to be integrated. This will change our relationship with discomfort. Don’t judge these feelings or have any preconceived desire of outcome. Be opened to any outcome. Treat them as a mother with her children. Let Presence determine the outcome. Patience, no hurry.
Week 5, I am innocent
Connecting with our child-self calls us onto the pathway of self guidance and nurturing. This enables us with increased Presence. We are born innocent. In our childhood we lose this innocence (or inner sense) to feelings of fear, anger and sadness. Worse yet we think we ARE fearful, angry and sad, rather than feelings we bear. Presence restores us to our innocence. We don’t know how to care for our own wellbeing so out of guilt we try to help others. This is neither of lasting benefit to us or those we are trying to help. The value of any adult discomfort is to use it to see its childhood cause, that is my unintegrated emotional charge. This is a reconnecting with a valuable piece of ourselves, integrating our past with our present. We now can give unconditional acceptance to our unintegrated past and thus resolve our unconscious behavior.
Our child-self is both gullible and vulnerable. It cannot distinguish between illusion and reality. Our child self’s unrest follows us until it is integrated. Once our child self comes to peace, so do we. At times this uncomfortable emotion will interrupt our present. Here I will need to unconditionally sit with this little guy as long as he needs. Give him a hug. Thus you will experience increasing awareness of peace and joy. How long I have ignored and suppressed the cries for help of my child self.
Week 6, I integrate charged emotion
Emotional charges are untapped fuel cells. To integrate them is to utilize this precious fuel. There are no good or bad emotions, they are all fuel. Move from trying to feel good to feeling everything, this is joy.
The emotional integration procedure:
1. Messenger, thank them for their service and dismiss them
2. Message, receive the insight, the familiar feeling that arises
3. Feeling unconditionally without blaming, accept complete responsibility for what you are feeling and give it your complete attention for as long as is needed.
Don’t blame anyone for your emotional challenge. Take responsibility for it. Reactive behavior blames others, reponsive behavior assumes the responsibility, without regret, guilt or shame. Blaming only makes you to be-lame, it disempowers us as a victim. Accusing the mirror for its content. Realizing peace has nothing to do with the other person.
Before commencing week seven thru nine (first sessions only) soak for 15 minutes in a hot bathtub. Afterwards have your regular meditation of CCB. Hydrate well 24 hours before the soaking. Entire torso submerged. Whatever is experienced is valid.
Week 7, I feel safe now
Embracing physical presence is the first step toward accomplishing a permanent shift from reactive to responsive behavior. All unintegrated charged emotions are opportunities of growth, untapped fuel cells. Our past should not be viewed as something to fear. As we integrate our child self begins to feel safe in these difficult emotions. None of our stories that we tell ourselves are valid, they are insane. We need to drop our stories. We are entering the emotional body awareness phase of the journey. We must now feel our way through (grief, fear and anger), you will not be able to think your way through it. Presence = Pre-sense. You won’t be able to make sense out of much of these emotions, stop trying. Presence does not think or reflect, it knows. Mental confusion is normal and a sign of progress. The emotional charge will gradually be released from our body. The warm water session will help facilitate this. We are regaining presence in the physical body, be more gentle with yourself. We will increase PMA in our body awareness. From now on you can do the warm water sessions as often as you like.
Week 8, I forgive myself
We think peace is procured by rearranging our circumstances or by a mental agreement. Peace is a vibration, we feel it. It is everywhere, even in the midst of chaos. We don’t make peace, none can grant us peace, we realize it through forgiveness. We seek unconditional love, even in all the wrong places. Arrogance stifles our ability to forgive ourselves and others. As adults we know how to pretend all is well. Are our parents responsible for the emotional charges we have? No, even though we blame them. We need to love them unconditionally by forgiving. There is no reason to treat ourselves with anything but unconditional love. Realizing peace through forgiveness is entirely in our hands. We refuse to identify others by their poor or destructive behavior.
Week 9, I love myself unconditionally
Our unconscious definition of love is conditional and keeps us from experiencing unconditional love. It only leaves us feeling lack. It is energy trapped in a holding pattern of continual resistance, we believe this is what we are. Our relationships don’t bring us the unconditional love we need, but rather reveal our lack of it. We need gain more PMA to see clearly. When our intimate relationships fail what are we left feeling? Feel without conditions. Looking for love, which is unconscious, is to be in lack. We must find such contentment in Presence. Don’t manipulate your spouse. Don’t expect them to make you happy. You cannot get it by taking it from another. Feel yourself as already full (lacking nothing) and give it to yourself unconditionally. Our experience is happening to us because it is required.
Our wants make us feel better, but it never feels enough. Our requirements are what is happening to us and facilitates personal evolution. Be content with what is, this is integration. Trying to get love will not bring contentment, only lack. Contentment comes by giving love to yourself – learn to feed yourself. Then give love to others without conditions, you will then experience unlimited abundance. Wants are conditional and produce lack, requirements are unconditional producing fullness. The world, like a mirror, can give you nothing. We have come to place unconditional love in our experience of the world. It is never the responsibility of another to love us unconditionally. Presence is doing everything to awaken us gently, without robbing us of our responsibility. Respond consciously.
Don’t feel it to fix it, but rather to integrate it without expectation, condition or manipulation. How can I respond consciously? I need love myself unconditionally, without blaming or expecting it from others. The messengers in our lives first seem like demons come to torment us, but as we become conscious we begin to see them for the angels they are, working with us to realize the love we already are.
Week 10, I appreciate what I am
Separation is an illusion. Because of our physical bodies we feel we are separated from one another. Our beliefs bend our perception to make it fit our experience. These beliefs that once served us, no longer do.
Choose to behave as one. We are one vibrational field, one heart, one body with one purpose. This cannot be explained and I need no validation of it. We are all having one unified experience. My faith is growing into a knowing. Experiencing presence allows us to close this gap between myself and others. Presence is shared, it is us unified. We either focus on the gap or Presence. Presence causes us to see our oneness.
Living on purpose – our purpose in life is to just be, not to do anything. Just be present in your completeness, your perfection as you are. Because we aren’t unconditionally loved, each as unique expressions of Presence, we become uncomfortable with who we are and become doing oriented. We attempt to earn the love we need.
Presence invites us to appreciate who we are, to recognize our full worth, it is also to increase its value. Appreciate the one that is with you. Together we form the heart of God. Love and appreciate who we already are.
I am here now because it is required. I am responsible for the quality of my experiences. I will then be less likely to blowup. Only in PMA do we see that the time is now.
- We will have more energy and less unconscious activity.
- We hurry less through life.
- Working conditions become more enjoyable. Our experience of our environment is improved. We will choose authentic joy.
- We become more creative and source-like.
- We will feel at home, in peace with our family members.
- Our sleep is more restful. This may take some time.
- We loose weight without dieting.
- We enjoy being around children. We can once again play.
- We eat more healthy, alive and nutritional. It dawns on us how privileged it is to have a body.
- People are attracted to us and enjoy our company.
- We enjoy solitude.
- We sense events before they occur. We experience synchronicity and greater abundance.
- We manifest less drama. Certain people will move out of our sphere of activity.
- We become interested in our vibrational being. We cease endless distractions.
- We are more gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Unconditional love is not something we can get, but that we give to ourselves and others.
- We have less anxiety.
- Our life becomes a journey, not a destiny. Nothing ceases and everything changes.
- Our gratitude grows. Whatever flows toward us comes on a river of grace. What we require comes to us without seeking it out.
- Presence adheres to the principle of non-interference. The more we tune into it the more we behave like it. The more connected with nature we feel.
- We don’t need to advertise our craft, only be it. Insight is silent and still. It speaks through anyone and anything.
- We are perfect as we already are. Just show up and be useful. We drop all conditions. We control nothing.
- We make an authentic contribution to this world.
Don’t try to awaken others. They need their rest, sleep has a purpose. Without integrity we cause harm. Be gentle and patient. PMA must dawn on us gradually. Be a willing student, don’t try to be a teacher. Life is our teacher. The Presence process is only for those who are ready.
Clive and Nadine
A child’s unintegrated imprinting is only a reflection of the parent’s patterns. As Clive integrated emotional charges the changes in his daughter’s behavior paralleled his progress. When we activate PMA all benefit. Things that upset us in family members is not their problems, but mine. We are not our imprinting, we are created perfect.
How do I know if I am in present moment awareness or not? Time is a place when things don’t seem right. When I am in PMA all is well.
We are continually bumped off coarse. We make the conscious adjustments needed by our breathing routine. Be as Present as possible, it’s our responsibility and joy. Reread this book as needed. Source created everything and it is all to be embraced. Everything in this life is a result of our collective thought. PMA is influencing all those around, you need not be aware of its influence. This invites them to be united with all.
Consciously approaching vibrational awareness… It’s not about perfection, only participation.